Saturday, July 5, 2008

What a different 4th of July

Last year was such a sad 4th of July. We were in ICU Praying to God to please spare our child and allow him to stay with us. This year we are praying to God in gratitude and love.

TJ had a great 4th of July. What a difference from last year. We went to parades, had picnic, he got to play with his cousin, and set off a TON of fireworks. We were all celebrating TJ and his health. TJ didn't quite understand the significance of all of it. He was more focused on getting the candy from the parade.

I can tell you all day I kept thinking back to last year. I've been doing that a lot lately. Can't help it. The joy I feel is overwhelming. The fear I still feel is overwhelming. I 've been so worried for him and about his health for so long, it's like that's all I know. I keep wanting to believe we're going to be OK, but really I don't know that. Every other time I started to think that way something has crept up and nailed us. I almost feel like it jinxes us!

We are getting geared up for the Transplant Games. I don't really know what he's going to do. He may refuse to throw the ball, he may refuse to run. Who knows, he's 2.

I'm hoping to meet up with some other families. Maybe they can help put my mind at ease. The doctors and nurses at our last clinic visit were so thrilled to see TJ doing so well. I will eventually believe it too. I want to, just fearful.

We still have a ton of fireworks to set off and my husband is already talking about next year. Men! They are too funny. I have a feeling 4ht of July may become one of "our Holidays" you know the one that you are known to all your friends and family for. It falls so close to his transplant anniversary, it almost seems natural that it should.

Today, I'm tired. I need to go and walk with him, try to jog a bit. Right now he's camped out sleeping. Poor kid is still wiped out. He was up late last night and it was a busy hectic day yesterday. I love it!

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