Sunday, July 6, 2008

One of those days

I knew after the foods he ate on the fourth that we'd eventually pay the price. He's been sick 2 days in a row now. He's cranky and all he wants to do is suck on a bottle, which doesn't help his belly one little bit. When I try to tell him this he just freaks out, 2 year olds!

I'm hoping tomorrow will get us back on track. I struggle so much sometimes on what to feed him, what he'll ea, what he wants... Lately all he wants is Ice Cream for breakfast, I just can't do it so our day starts out bad and just carries on from there. I hate that I get so frustrated. I end up yelling at him ,which again, doesn't help matters.

I just don't know how other mothers do it. I swear I'm going crazy some days. I wish I had more patience, I wish I was better organize, I wish I had a place to escape to sometimes. Today was one of those days.

I used to imagine my life, I used to be able to plan my life. Now I respond to my child day in and day out. I judge medicine timing by how he's acting, I decide food and meals by how he's feeling, I base my days and weeks completely on him. I never imagined I would be so out of control of my own life. I used to plan, plan, plan. Now my best laid plans go to hell in a handbasket by 10AM if he's not eating well or screaming for something I don't have.

I'm tired, I'm going to bed. Tomorrow is a new day, it will all be better in the morning, I hope. Hopefully I'm not cleaning up poop or puke at 4 AM. That always sucks.

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