Friday, July 11, 2008

Heart Mother

This is from Shannon Kaiser. Her beautiful daughter has many chronic issues, their life is a daily battle. She speaks true and from the heart. I read these words, today of all days and just cried.

Last year on July 11, TJ received his Berlin Heart. It was a turning point for him. It was the beginning of his recovery.

I'm sharing her words, I hope she doesn't mind. I've made some changes to fit our situation.

One day my world came crashing down, I'll never be the same..
They told me that my child was sick.. I thought, am I to blame?
I don't think I can handle this... I'm really not that strong..
It seemed my heart was breaking.. As, I'd loved him for so long.
I will not give up on this child.. despite your best "advice"..
I will give my child a chance.. No matter what the price..
And I will learn all that I need.. to help my child to thrive...
Yes, even a Tracheostomy.. My child will survive!

And he'll need an experimental heart? And we will need to wait?
Alright God I can do this.. I will not curse our fate.
Night time screams, he wakes me often, It serves as my reminder..
How many parents would welcome that sound? Tomorrow Lord, I will be kinder.
Another angel earns their wings.. and I run to my sleeping child's bed..
I watch him then, for quite awhile.. (I bend down and kiss his head)
Then I cry for the parent's whose lives have been broken.. And I look to You wondering why?
Oh Lord, I just can't know your ways.. No matter how I try.

And yet, I trust You hold his life.. (and guide us through each day)
My mind says savor each moment he's here..But my heart whispers,"Please let him stay".
From... pacing the Intensive Care waiting rooms... to sitting by his hospital bed...
From... wishing for a good nights sleep.. to learning every med...
From... wondering will he be alright? to watching him reach out his hands..
with every smile, my heart just melts.. (despite life's harsh demands)
For all who see that faded line.. I look to them and smile..
You see my child is loved so much.. I would face any trial...

That same scar I trace with my finger.. (It's the door to his beautiful heart)
You must have known how much I'd love him.. (Just as You loved him right from the start)
A heart mom is always a heart mom.. (wise beyond all of her years)
And for those who have angels in heaven.. Our hearts share in all of your tears..
I will always remember.. You chose me for him (and no other)
And I'll always embrace that beautiful day.. When I became a "heart mother".

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