Last year at this time we were trying to get some sleep. Tomorrow Morning, July 11th is when TJ was placed on the Berlin Heart. It was a 6 hour surgery.

The procedure wasn't as simple as it sounded, it never is. I think about this surgery al the time. I have images in my mind I wish I didn't. I wish I never saw him right after this surgery. I questioned what we were doing. He was so sick, Oh My God, he was so sick. It just hits me from time to time.

Our lives are so frail, we forget it and get wrapped up in the stress of daily life. We have to work to pay the bills. We have to work more to pay for the things we want and need. We have to, We have to, We have to. We say these words all the time.

We don't have to do anything. I think the world needs to stop and breathe. Stop and enjoy, stop and remember.

Tim McGraw sings a song, Live Like You Were Dying:

He said I was in my early forties, with a lot of life before me
And one moment came that stopped me on a dime
I spent most of the next days, looking at the x-rays
Talking bout' the options and talking bout' sweet times.
I asked him when it sank in, that this might really be the real end
How's it hit 'cha when you get that kind of news?
Man what did ya do?
He said

I went skydiving
I went rocky mountain climbing
I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu
And I loved deeper
And I spoke sweeter
And I gave forgiveness I'd been denyin'
And he said some day I hope you get the chance
To live like you were dyin'

He said I was finally the husband, that most the time I wasn't
And I became a friend, a friend would like to have
And all of a sudden goin' fishin, wasn't such an imposition
And I went three times that year I lost my dad
Well I finally read the good book, and I took a good long hard look
At what I'd do if I could do it all again
And then

I went skydiving
I went rocky mountain climbing
I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Shu
And I loved deeper
And I spoke sweeter
And I gave forgiveness I'd been denyin'
And he said some day I hope you get the chance
To live like you were dyin'

Like tomorrow was the end
And ya got eternity to think about what to do with it
What should you do with it
What can I do with it
What would I do with it

Skydiving
I went rocky mountain climbing
I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu
And man I loved deeper
And I spoke sweeter
And I watched an eagle as it was flyin'
And he said some day I hope you get the chance
To live like you were dyin'

I "get"that song. I try to live like that with TJ. Every day cherish, make special memory. I'm not always successful, but I try. Life is what we make of it. If you get lemons, make lemonade.

Positive thoughts are the only thing that gets you through some of this. I've seen nightmarish images, all in the name of medicine. Some have helped, others you wonder.

Life can change in a blink, ask anyone who has ever been in an accident or gotten a "phone call" you know the one you never want to receive. Live your life right and no regrets, Love as much as you can, and if you have kids, hug them often. You'll be happier for it.