Saturday, June 21, 2008

Days like this remind me

A young girl that TJ got to know in the hospital is back in the hospital with a possible serious case of rejection. As I read the journal update from her parents I just cried. The fears of transplant can be incapacitating at times.

I cried because this poor innoent child was going to have to fight for her life, again. I've seen it and lived it twice now. It is an experience I will proabably have to face again. SUch is the life in transplant, at least in our transplant.

Yesterday I was freaking out because TJ was drinking too much from a bottle and too much of the Gatorade G2. Today as I started my day off with this terribel news it hit me like a ton of bricks. What the hell was I freaking out about. TJ is home with us and we were actually being normal. This is cause for celebration and love, not frustration and yelling.

I can't explain how my stomach rolls when I think the other family's situation. I'm so thankful it isn't us, then I feel guilty for thinking such an awful thought. I sit here and I picture Sue sitting at the hospital, it's almost midnight, almost time for vital checks.

Days like this remind me how lucky we've been, but it also reminds me how fragile our life really is. It reminds me how 1 phone call can change our lives forever and how we can endure anything for our children.

I pray the sweet Lily recovers and that this isn't a serious bout of rejection. I pray for my own son's health and pray that he stays healthy enough to remain at home with us.