Post hospital rambling and a learning experience for Mommy.

As I was saying before, what a difference this hospitalization was for us. TJ & Mommy both. I felt different throughout the whole thing. Even the phone call didn't set my heart into panic mode. It was just kinda matter of fact, deal with it, come home. That's exactly what happened.

TJ was a bear for most of the time, he didn't want to be there at all and made it very known to all that came near. He didn't want to be there and he didn't like anyone. He looked at a nurse drawing blood and in a tearful hurt voice told her "You make me Sad." I don't know who was more sad at that moment, TJ or the nurse. She felt really bad, but it's what we have to do.

He'll eventually learn that certain things have to be done and to grin and bear it. It sucks, really, but he's alive and living life and enjoying so manythings, it makes it all worthwhile.

I see other patients who have so many complications and medicines and tubes and devices hooked up to them. I thank God everytime I see them. No, I wouldn't have chosen this road for us or for TJ, but at least I have a relatively healthy child who can run around and play most of the time. There are so many kids out there who will live a lifetime from a wheelchair or with a ventilator hooked up to their throat. How can I complain about our life?

The steroids they gave him to combat the rejection make him HYPER! I mean can't keep up with him, bouncing off the wall, can't focus, grabbing things quicker than you can blink, and crying or screaming for no apparant reason HYPER. Seriously, I was at my end yesterday afternoon. He was nuts.

Today he's much calmer and is actually able to sit and play and be calm. He seems much happier, so therefore so is mommy :)


I had a horrifying moment yesterday, I'm still horrified by it. You know that saying "Kids will put anything they can in their mouth," well TJ hasn't done that for a while, until yesterday.

Now remember he's on a immuno-supressant to keep his immune system compromised so he won't reject. This means we have to always wash hands, use sanitizer, not touch our face... blah, blah, blah. HA Try to do all that with a toddler! You can see where this is going right?

So we're at the checkout line of the grocery store, I have emptied the cart and placed the "Place Between Orders" stick at the end of my groceries so the next person can start unloading. I reach/lean around TJ, who is sitting in the front of the cart, grab my wallet and when I stand back up I see that he has...

the "Place between orders' stick - IN HIS MOUTH!!!!! pretending it's a bone. BLAHH!!!!

*cue sirens and flashing red lights*

I freak out and my first and foremost thought is "Oh Shit, I can't sanitize his mouth, what the hell am I supposed to do."

I'm imagining germs and bacteria crawling all over his mouth, bleck! What the hell was he thinking. The cashier is looking at me like I'm nuts. Truth be told, I probably looked a little nuts.

So I'm on watch for the next 3 days. I'm praying he didn't actually "lick" the damn thing. I keep thinking about the raw chicken juice and all the other bacteria ridden food things that sit on that grocery belt. *Shudder* That stick touches all of that and how many hands. Even if he WASN'T immuno-compromised I think I would be freaking out, it's so gross.

I don't know what he was thinking, well I know he was pretending it was a bone, so probably he was thinking "I'm a Dog." But that doesn't help the situation.

So lessons learned.

1. Steroid jacked children are very quick
2. Never underestimate a 3 year olds randomness
3. Add Scope to the "on the go" bag