Different perspective

You know when TJ & I are home we fight. He is constantly challenging me and I find myself so frustrated and disheartened. I want to be a good mom, but there are days I feel like I am constantly yelling and correcting.

After everything TJ's been through, I feel guilty being like this. I want every one of his moments to be happy and positive and full of fun. There are days it just isn't like that.

I went to my aunts last night with TJ and saw him in a different light. Gone was my fighting, stubborn, disobedient child. Instead here was a little boy who was laughing and playing and listening.

So I am wondering why is he the way he is at home. Is it just part of our routine? Is it me? How can I get him to be this cute child for me on a daily basis?

I really have no answers except I think he gets bored at the house. I try to get housework done and he's bored with the same old toys and scenery.

Maybe he's doing it for attention? But isn't that manipulation? He doesn't want Mommy to do what she needs to do, he wants to her to cater to him. I struggle with this. It's a balancing act that I struggle to balance. I need to do things, I need to play with him, it's hard to do both on some days.

It was nice to see TJ being the sweet kid I know he is. If nothing else, today when he acts up I can remind myself that the child tat is so adorable and loving is in there. Hopefully it will help me stay more tempered.

How is my child knows where my buttons are, but I'm still searching for his?
That's just not right.

Fashion at the Farm Show

TJ & I went to the farm show today. It had rained over night so it was a little squishy, but all in all a good day.

TJ had fun got to pet some animals and rode his first Amusement Park rides. He was super excited on the Helicopter ride. He was all grins, in fact he wouldn't get off. Thankfully the place wasn't crowded and the operator didn't care if he took another ride.



We started out the day in Jeans and Boots. He wanted to wear his rubber boots. I don't let him do this often because he knows he's allowed to jump in puddles if he's wearing his boots. However, I thought this could be fun so what the heck.



Within the first 20 feet, his jeans were soaked. They just got worse from there. He had a ball, he found every puddle there was and even wanted to try his feet in the pond. I had to draw the line there, I know mean mommy.

I let him eat what he wanted for lunch, Hot Dogs. He wolfed down one got up and went over to the concession stand. He stood there yelling up at the people ordering himself another one. The kid learns fast! He was polite about it. "EXCUSE ME, I NEED ANOTHER HOT DOG PEES. I EAT THE OTHER ONE, ALL DONE. EXCUSE ME, I NEED ANOTHER HOT DOG PEES. MAAUMM, I NEED ANOTHER HOT DOG, PEES, ONE MORE."

Too Cute, he got another hot dog.

So far he hasn't been sick. I'm kinda expecting some backlash from the day. The food he ate definitely wasn't on the approved diet list. But it was just one day, a kids gotta have fun. So I'll give extra Imodium tonight and tomorrow. We'll also keep him busy and hopefully he won't get sick later tonight. So far so good.

We cut down his Pepcid dose, he's been OK with it. I'm thinking we're going to make this transition OK.


So people at the farm show are very casual in their attire. I mean that's to be expected, they're shoveling poop and mud and handling animals. But the Sheep, they are decked out. I laughed at this. I'm sure there is purpose for it, but flames, really?

YIPPEEE!!

Oh My God! TJ's Blood work wasn't bad, in fact it was pretty good. What a relief. I feel so much better. They aren't going to check blood work again until his appointment on the 21st. WOW, 3 weeks without needles. I don't know that we've ever gone that long. Really.

This morning we've got poop issues again. This is an ongoing cycle for us, it may always be, we're not sure. But at least the Imodium works, it's the juggling of it that is hard. I worry about giving too much, then we go the other way. But if I don't give enough, then we have issues.

Today is hot. I think I'm going to feed him and go running around. I have a couple errands to run and need to get to our house. I've got plants and flowers for the outside. It's finally looking more like a home, not just a house.

I'll be updating the folder with pics tonight, so if you're interested check back.

My Public Photo Album

Here is the link to my public photos.

Right now it's house pics, before and after.

http://picasaweb.google.com/mspianowilson


Hope you enjoy!

Not so bad

Not so bad, that's how the blood draw was this morning. It can be very emotional, for me and for TJ. But today not so bad.

They managed to hit the vein on the first shot, TJ didn't squirm or cry that bad, and we were done in no time. It's a new thing for us.

I have no idea what this blood work will tell us. I prepare myself for bad, because otherwise it hits me too hard. I really don't think he's that different than he was a couple weeks ago so the numbers will probably be about the same.

His Liver function is what worries me. I hope it hasn't gotten worst. But I really have n ogauge for that.

I should hear tomorrow, late. So until then we carry on. Life can't stop all together.